Last Letter

     Hello once again fellow Bookwormers!! I've been out for a while, but a little probing from my cousin the 'Odd Mom Out' (p.s. you should totally check her out at vturn7.blogspot.com) brought me back to my writing. I needed a little inspiration, so I turned to different sources and came upon an app called 365 topics. In choosing a random topic I was being brought back CONSTANTLY to one question/topic. It states: "What would you write in a letter to be read, after your death, by your best friend?" I know this is a very morbid topic considering it makes you think about death, but I thought I might as well give it a shot. I mean it came up randomly at least 5 times (no exaggeration), so someone obviously wants me to write this letter. I think the reason I'm choosing to write it now is based on the same ideas that are always presented after someone dies: "Tell people you love them before it's too late," "Why send flowers when a person dies when you can send them while they are alive to appreciate them," and "Why change something after it cannot be fixed?" I've been to enough funerals to know that those who cry the loudest are the ones who did not get their closure before the person died, so I'm "sending" my letter to the world NOW so that people know that I love them and can appreciate (hopefully) what I have to say. I invite you to do the same, it might not be easy, but it doesn't hurt to share your feelings while there is still time to make a difference in a person's life, including your own...

June 6, 2012

Dear friends (old and new),

Here are some things I want you to know about me. This is who I am, and will continue to be, and I wanted to share it with you now in case I didn't share them before:

1. I'm sorry I didn't take more risks. They became regrets that I had to live with.
2. I wish I could have said "I love you" to my grandparents more than I did. They knew, but the words would have sounded different coming from me.
3. I wish I could have enjoyed myself more in high school; it went by too fast.
4. I wish people wouldn't think of me as "saintly;" the label is hard to carry, and I don't want to live up to that expecation because I am human and have a right to make mistakes.
5. I should have listened to the compliments given to me instead of the bad things. They were more sincere than I first thought they were.
6. I'm glad that I learned who my true friends were, even after years of "friendship," because I would have lost a lot more if I had never found out.
7. I still haven't learned what true forgiveness is, despite popular belief, I hold grudges silently. I need to learn to let go before my heart turns bitter.
8. I love to laugh, so share a joke every now and then to make my day :)
9. I don't mind listening, but I would like to be given the chance to share too.
10. I always read the last paragraph of a book first; no reason in particular except that I want to know if it is going to have a happy/sad ending.
11. I have a BIG heart, but DON'T take advantage of it.
12. I love hanging out with my family. It is with them that I am most happy.
13. I like to make people's day, but I like to be remembered too because just like everyone else, I have bad days too.
14. I love making people laugh, especially my parents and brothers, even if I look like a dork doing it. And last but not least:
15. I want to make a difference in the world. I don't know if I have yet or not, but I do hope I can touch at least another life and make this world a better place for future generations. I want my kids to grow up in a world better than what it is now because it is really messed up.

These things, new to you or not, are who I am. Once something is written, you can't take it back, and that thought scares me and comforts me at the same time. I hope you see me for who I am and not who you think or wish I was. There is only one me, and I've got only one shot in this life to do it right, so I'm not going to hide behind the stereotypes or the dreams of other people. I hope you don't either because there is only one of you too. Care to share who you are? I hope you do.


Sincerely,

Karina